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I wouldn't risk my child's [education], even though I know that learning by doing is more powerful than learning with your head alone in school.

Every year, more than 400,000 young people in the top half of their high school class go to college, and eight years later they have not earned either a two- or four-year degree or certificate. So at some point, failure matters. Education reform in pursuit of academic excellence is floundering.

"There is a fair amount of evidence showing that when children view their abilities as more malleable and something they can change over time, then they deal with obstacles in a more constructive way,"

But parents who saw failure as an opportunity were more likely to ask their child what they learned from the quiz, what they still can learn and whether asking the teacher for help would be useful.

"The takeaway is that when your child is struggling on something or has setbacks, don't focus on their abilities, focus on what they can learn from it,"