"An Powerful Trick To Aid You Not Take Things Personally!" [Reflections Of A Middle-Aged Man] - 0 views
started by Salazar High on 26 Oct 13
started by Salazar High on 26 Oct 13
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I consider it would be fair to say that we all have a tendency to take items personally. It is just that some of us have a higher tendency than others to do so. We learned about judgement by browsing Yahoo. And, when it happens, some of us are better capable to deal with it within ourselves than other individuals.
Taking items personally is by no means healthy in any connection: employer-employee, pal-pal, husband-wife, companion-partner, parent-child, . . . for a quantity of factors. One particular major such explanation is that, if you do take issues personally, then your feelings will continually be at the mercy of other people - no matter whether they attacked you personally or not. That is in no way healthier in a relationship, and it is no way to reside!
If you are a person who tends to take issues folks say or do personally, then I want to share with you a tiny trick I have discovered that genuinely aids. It requires understanding why folks occasionally do what they do and seeing that often what they do has practically nothing to do with us and that, as a result, there is no need to take it personally. I will share this trick via two partnership principles.
Partnership Principle 1: Folks often are selfish. This principle may sound cynical but bear with me.
I consider that it is an undeniable reality that we all have selfish tendencies. Nevertheless, some of us are far more selfish than other folks. And some of us can turn into selfish given the proper circumstances.
By understanding and accepting that folks sometimes are selfish, then we realize that occasionally men and women:
- will consider only in terms of what is very best for them,
- will see items only from their own point of view,
- will want to be correct about everything,
- will want to have factors their way all the time,
- will not think about how what they do impacts other individuals,
- and so on . . .
Consequently, sometimes folks will do what they do simply simply because they are motivated by selfishness! And if they are motivated by selfishness, then there is no reason why we ought to take personally things they do and say as their actions had nothing to do with us. In fact, you could say that their actions has shown you just how selfish they are.
For instance, if someone cuts you when you are driving, don't take it personally. Just inform your self, "this particular person has just shown me how selfish s/he is by cutting me off . . . it is nothing personal!"
Relationship Principle 2: Folks usually have a reason for undertaking what they do. This principle is one particular that I learnt about folks some time ago.
This principle does not mean that people are constantly proper about what they do. Nor does it imply that they must constantly be excused for their action. It also does not imply that they themselves often know why they did what they did. But there is nevertheless always a explanation!
Here are some reasons that I can feel of that would cause individuals to do what they sometimes do (maybe you can feel of others):
- past unmet wants,
- existing needs,
- present wants,
- previous unresolved issues or conflicts,
- previous hurts,
- current fears,
- current hang ups,
- ulterior motives or hidden agenda,
- present insecurities,
- past choices,
- ego problems,
- character problems such as: narcistic tendencies, ADD, ADHD, lack of empathy, . . If you have an opinion about marketing, you will likely choose to check up about company web site. .
- and so on . . .
Consequently, occasionally folks will do what they do simply because they are motivated by who they are and the "baggage" they carry! And if they are motivated by such issues, then there is no reason why we ought to take personally issues they do and say. In reality, you could say that their actions has shown you that they behave as they do because they "have troubles". Once again, nothing to do with us and for that reason practically nothing individual!
For example, I know a 12-yearl old boy who when told his step-mother "I love you" only to be provided the reply "Yeah, properly you have a funny way of displaying it!" Needless to say the boy was deeply hurt by the reply (and understandably so). For one more viewpoint, please consider checking out: learning games. The way to support that boy is to assist him understand that, even even though the step-mother's comment sounded like a individual attack on him, the reply really reveals who the step-mother is as a person and that it was nothing individual.
In conclusion, the trick to not taking personally issues men and women say and do is to understand and accept that often folks are selfish and/or they "have troubles", and that their behaviour usually has absolutely nothing to do with us. You can even turn issues around and say that their behaviour betrays who they really are. This will support you shift the concentrate from you (which is partly why you take items personally) and location it on them (which will help you not take items personally).
Serge M Botans.