Back once again to La-la Land - 0 views

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  #1 Adkins Little on 10 Jun 13

   

  Relationships with narcissists peter out slowly and tortuously. Narcissists don't provide closure. They stalk. They cajole, ask, offer, convince, and, eventually, flourish in doing the impossible yet again: sweep you off your feet, though you know better than to yield to their superficial charms and spurious.
  
  So, you go back to your 'relationship' and expect a much better ending. You walk on eggshells. You then become the apex of submissiveness, a Source of Narcissistic Supply, the ideal mate or spouse or partner or colleague. You keep your fingers crossed.
  
  But how can the narcissist respond to the resurrection of the relationship?
  
  It depends on whether you have re-entered the link from the position or power or of vulnerability and weakness. If you think you know anything, you will seemingly fancy to discover about peter mcgrath nh.
  
  The narcissist casts all interactions with other people in terms of situations or competitions to be won. H-e doesn't regard you as a partner but being an foe to become subjugated and overcome. Thus, as far as he's concerned, your reunite to the fold is a triumph, proof of his superiority and irresistibility.
  
  If he perceives you as independent, dangerously independent, and able to bailing out and leaving him the narcissist acts the part of the sensitive and painful, caring, loving, and empathic version. Narcissists value power, they are dazzled by it. As long as you keep a 'no-nonsense' attitude, setting the narcissist on probation, he's more likely to behave himself.
  
  If, on the other hand, you have resumed contact because you've capitulated to his threats or because you are manifestly dependent on him economically or psychologically the narcissist will pounce on your frailty and manipulate your fragility to the maximum. Following a perfunctory honeymoon, he will immediately seek to control and abuse you.
  
  In both cases, the narcissist's thespian reserves are exhausted and his true nature and emotions emerge. The facade crumbles and beneath it hides the same old heartless falsity that is the narcissist. His gleeful smugness at having bent you to his rules and desires, his all-consuming sense of entitlement, his sexual depravity, his violence, pathological jealousy, and anger all erupt uncontrollably.
  
  The prognosis for the renewed affair is far worse if it follows a lengthy separation in-which you've made a for yourself with your own interests, pursuits, set of friends, requirements, needs, plans, and obligations, independent of your narcissistic ex and unrelated to him.
  
  The narcissist can't countenance your separateness. To him, you're a mere instrument of gratification o-r an extension of his swollen False Self. He resents your pecuniary means, is insanely jealous of your friends, will not take your preferences or compromise their own, in envious and dismissive of one's achievements.
  
  Finally, the fact that you have survived without his constant presence appears to deny him his much-needed Narcissistic Supply. He rides the inevitable cycle of idealisation and devaluation. He berates you, humiliates you widely, threatens you, destabilises you by working unexpectedly, encourages ambient abuse, and uses the others to intimidate and humble you (~~'~ abuse by proxy ~'~~).
  
  You are then confronted with a hardcore choice:
  
  To leave again and give-up all the emotional and economic assets that went into your attempt to restore the relationship or to go on trying, at the mercy of everyday abuse and worse?
  
  It is a land-scape. You've been here before. But this familiarity does not allow it to be less nightmarish.

   

  <div class="cArrow"> </div><div class="cContentInner">Relationships with narcissists peter out slowly and tortuously. Narcissists don't provide closure. They stalk. They cajole, ask, offer, convince, and, eventually, flourish in doing the impossible yet again: sweep you off your feet, though you know better than to yield to their superficial charms and spurious. <br /> <br /> So, you go back to your 'relationship' and expect a much better ending. You walk on eggshells. You then become the apex of submissiveness, a Source of Narcissistic Supply, the ideal mate or spouse or partner or colleague. You keep your fingers crossed. <br /> <br /> But how can the narcissist respond to the resurrection of the relationship? <br /> <br /> It depends on whether you have re-entered the link from the position or power or of vulnerability and weakness. If you think you know anything, you will seemingly fancy to discover about <a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.concordmonitor.com/news/4576806-95/mcgrath-committee-conduct-suspension">peter mcgrath nh</a>. <br /> <br /> The narcissist casts all interactions with other people in terms of situations or competitions to be won. H-e doesn't regard you as a partner but being an foe to become subjugated and overcome. Thus, as far as he's concerned, your reunite to the fold is a triumph, proof of his superiority and irresistibility. <br /> <br /> If he perceives you as independent, dangerously independent, and able to bailing out and leaving him the narcissist acts the part of the sensitive and painful, caring, loving, and empathic version. Narcissists value power, they are dazzled by it. As long as you keep a 'no-nonsense' attitude, setting the narcissist on probation, he's more likely to behave himself. <br /> <br /> If, on the other hand, you have resumed contact because you've capitulated to his threats or because you are manifestly dependent on him economically or psychologically the narcissist will pounce on your frailty and manipulate your fragility to the maximum. Following a perfunctory honeymoon, he will immediately seek to control and abuse you. <br /> <br /> In both cases, the narcissist's thespian reserves are exhausted and his true nature and emotions emerge. The facade crumbles and beneath it hides the same old heartless falsity that is the narcissist. His gleeful smugness at having bent you to his rules and desires, his all-consuming sense of entitlement, his sexual depravity, his violence, pathological jealousy, and anger all erupt uncontrollably. <br /> <br /> The prognosis for the renewed affair is far worse if it follows a lengthy separation in-which you've made a for yourself with your own interests, pursuits, set of friends, requirements, needs, plans, and obligations, independent of your narcissistic ex and unrelated to him. <br /> <br /> The narcissist can't countenance your separateness. To him, you're a mere instrument of gratification o-r an extension of his swollen False Self. He resents your pecuniary means, is insanely jealous of your friends, will not take your preferences or compromise their own, in envious and dismissive of one's achievements. <br /> <br /> Finally, the fact that you have survived without his constant presence appears to deny him his much-needed Narcissistic Supply. He rides the inevitable cycle of idealisation and devaluation. He berates you, humiliates you widely, threatens you, destabilises you by working unexpectedly, encourages ambient abuse, and uses the others to intimidate and humble you (~~'~ abuse by proxy ~'~~). <br /> <br /> You are then confronted with a hardcore choice: <br /> <br /> To leave again and give-up all the emotional and economic assets that went into your attempt to restore the relationship or to go on trying, at the mercy of everyday abuse and worse? <br /> <br /> It is a land-scape. You've been here before. But this familiarity does not allow it to be less nightmarish.</div>

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