1/4/2010
a mild snow after second drizzle in lunar 2010.^yesterday i stayed in office over time. the sky later turns gloomy&yellow, likely sandstorm in air. i prayed God for his mightiness and bliss for i lingering in office all day, not retreated to dorm as usual. the facing evil absent all work day, while the monitor, a criminal, was arranged to accompany tourism from the company to Anhui Prov. in the wellfare policy of labor union. i enjoyed surfing non-stop so much, and the only pain is sometimes my ass. last night when i returned to dorm, a cat asking my feeding. it was hurt, a long wound on its back, very brutal. i bought 2 sausage for it, and fed it manually, but it didn't ate much. the owner of the cat in the dorm said he don't know who hurt the cat, but the cat likely fear the young man in th dorm. Masheng, last night i again reviewed our golden moment in Nankai Univ, thank u for the white&saint gift, the snow, pl join me sooner. God, saves the kitty, even u tells me i shouldn't raise pets, and cats don't align with my world in ur shine, in righteous and beautiful and fit. thx.
From first rain in lunar 2010
From http:/
9/4/2010
its my first time since my departure from the village to climbing on the Chinese social ladder by schooling near twenty years ago, that chill even in early summer in raining day so prevailing. within 2 days i cough a lot, and loathed to open my notebook to dig on my web presence. God, the rain surely killing dirt by draining the polluting&poisoning, and saving the thirsty. God, this morning u let me got up lately and talked with u, Masheng, my Japanese Crowned Queen, so many bliss in my life ahead.
just in the mid of dirt&challenge from the demon in the front dark house of my dad's old house, some village girl students visited here again. i let them watching animation online and played pc games. its a cloudy day, but warmth resumed, and i likely wouldn't suffer cold since now. last night baby son talked to me, even just let me know that he is busy with bathing and wouldn't talk to me. this morning i dreamed a lot in the adversity he was virtually surrounded. God, u know how i love him, God of Universe, Hope of China. hopefully i can gift him with a new Dell notebook in this year end, which delayed by evil in QRRS, my once and long time employer, with which his&mom and myself, as well as baby son, all improves to a satisfying working and entertaining platform with the hardware. now, time to close this verse, my dear, my beloved, God sees how i missing u, in this anonymous countryside, my heart forever links to u, to the golden moments we shared. i praying with earnest&assurance the coming years will see we live together in our palace that's dream scape.
bye.
benzrad's comments in these days:
Chinese poor quality, including software and ethic.
Permanent Link to Chinese poor quality, inc
Chinese most software&web service will die in the same way, just for their featureless. The dogged mined China authority nowadays driving lots of social energy wasting in the same way: duplicate poor quality product parallel to advanced product in Christian world, just feeds its dictator's sick will to feel inferior again and again to the world leader in US in hundred years since the fall of Ming dynasty on the scary land, to assure the totalitarian that he still owns some cheap labors from the stealth of state power, in the lent fake cause of state security. they steal and copy, but all of them just a waste of dog shits. China, had to learn to stand up on the shoulder of giant like America, not the cheap locksmith it beholds in its history that's not short and time to arouse.
for the resource of this digest missing in Chinese media's copy and hide the original, i failed to find trackback. like this article related: http://www.forbes.com/2010/03/15/palm-apple-rimm-markets-intelligent-investing-smartphones.html?boxes=techchanneltopstories .all China media report on technology like just a case of mocking after translation from the western counterpart, a case of stealth.
a sunny morning now, even whiter with snow heaps on ground. praying my new life with my girls sooner raises me into new height. read lastest blog http://birdous.wordpress.com/2010/03/17/bright-sunshine-holy-message-on-dark-in-chinese/
11/5/2010
yesterday is an important memory for me, in my hometown journey 2nd, for i earnestly talk to and with God, my passed dad. the day just after some chilly raining days, i read most of the day near my dad's old house's front door, which rightly monitored by the evil dark house's owner, the second husband of my early passed aunt, a diligent woman who left me life time memory, a said once bare poor in the village before the new republic China. the demon's window just peeking our front door, just under a slope. the demon polluted me all the day with his tomb chill, so when i felt reading enough, i haunted the village's hall with my camera. but the front square of the village don't gather any interesting young men as usual, so i picked to travel the newly developing wing of the village, where most of the offspring of the dark house owner shifted their houses to, as well as other minor or confluent family trees in the village where almost all residents in family name Zhu. its a fruitful tour, in which my blended memory and anxiousness called forth. the back hill is the main well being source of the villagers, but all that led by my passed dad when he left his factory for injury on his toes in a blast in rocks and returned to the village. he continued his work with steer tools to make use of stones on our back hill for bridges or other building usage, by unearthed them, sorted them, trimmed&polish them for ready brick or block or other frameworks. his works not only support my education which is the best among my sisters and brothers, but forges my best cherished memory and hope and belief and lifestyle on being a man. that occurred amid the transition China opening to the world from deadly locked communism doctrine. the young villagers gradually all follow my dad's lead and improved their lives a lot in these decades by producing tombstone from the hill. but the village, or town, badly need a new business pattern in coming
18/4/2010
visit baby son yesterday.^yesterday is a bright day. when i arrived, baby son watching animation online. God let me doubt if i should buy him his favorite food first, but i didn't, except a capsule of dry beef i bought last day. then i launched to backup my stuff to dvds via my Acer notebook left to baby's mom to use those months, restored the os from backup. the grandma soon arrived, cooked us 2 meat dishes: a chicken with mushroom, a fish. the noise of her cutting the chicken let baby uncomfortable, and he asked his mom and me to care him by sat around him. after lunch, with which i quite enjoyed while baby ate less, baby was brought outside by his mom for sunburn, while i busy with installing all new games on the notebook, after trying to restore its previous personal settings. baby slept on way near his mom's home, i was asked to fetch them, met them when baby dozed on his mom's back. after shown ema some stuff, ie. cliparts and templates, for her courseware, and educational multimedia for baby son, i went to public bathroom, where i showered&haircut. bought baby son icecream. baby enjoyed it at once after i returned there. then shown baby newly installed games. baby partially attracted&tried some with my companion. the devil, the grandma, likely maltreated baby son with rudeness and sins, so when i talked about God, baby shown impatience, and reluctant to game on the digital virtual land i trust a lot. God, u know what i want to pray, never let baby son erode by meaningless boring nor too much wasted time among human that's meaningless.
baby's mom, emakingir, likely enchanted by the rich materials i prepared for her work. she let me replace my worn winter coat, later pants before i left, both never washed for the whole winter for i had no enough clothes to rotate, with in season suite. when i left, i forgot my under clothing left after shower. in the night the demons in neighbor room in QRRS dorms shown me their hatred when i went
19/4/2010
a gloomy day with heartbreaking love&pardon.^those days i slept sound. after visited office later than 8am, got know by chat with baby's mom, emakingir, online, that baby cried in the morning, don't want to join the kindergarten. ema likely weeps online. my heart fulfilled with sorry and loving. the weather also reminded me unfavorable, so i left office to visit baby son. the kindergarten quite near my office, a tour on foot for less than 10 minutes. i doubting if dog, ie. porter will blocked me, for in China dog or cops dominating all fields. but God lets me direct walked to the classroom baby members. the teacher received me with smile, and asked who i m. i told her i m the father. as soon as caught sight of baby, i kneed a leg and squadded to talk with baby. i talked him how his parents love him, and urged him happy time should arrives in sequence, in our anticipation with patience. baby nodded when i affirmed him. i kiss his cheek&left with his consent. in office i roamed for about an hour, reviewing love in my family, between Son&God. then most of the day enjoying reading and web assets hunting. in the restaurant, some trifle people, likely some were my once colleagues, babbled about Internet and China censorship. returned to dorm, i sorted stuff awhile, then again reviewed love of Holy between baby and me, in music lately after 11pm. when i returned from lavatory&prepared to sleep, the kitty in the dorm visited me and ask for food. i went to the grocer within the dorms area&bought it 2 sausage, fed it with a small one. the roommate of its owner, a grey man i referred in previous blog, went to buy ready food&found us. i let him take away the kitty with the remnant of the sausage. its really not bad to feed a animal friend.
now its a bright morning, with crisp breeze and brilliant sunshine. when i got up i found some queues on the ground, with a lecturing man. likely they r senior collegians taking practice here in
19/4/2010
a gloomy day with heartbreaking love&pardon.^those days i slept sound. after visited office later than 8am, got know by chat with baby's mom, emakingir, online, that baby cried in the morning, don't want to join the kindergarten. ema likely weeps online. my heart fulfilled with sorry and loving. the weather also reminded me unfavorable, so i left office to visit baby son. the kindergarten quite near my office, a tour on foot for less than 10 minutes. i doubting if dog, ie. porter will blocked me, for in China dog or cops dominating all fields. but God lets me direct walked to the classroom baby members. the teacher received me with smile, and asked who i m. i told her i m the father. as soon as caught sight of baby, i kneed a leg and squadded to talk with baby. i talked him how his parents love him, and urged him happy time should arrives in sequence, in our anticipation with patience. baby nodded when i affirmed him. i kiss his cheek&left with his consent. in office i roamed for about an hour, reviewing love in my family, between Son&God. then most of the day enjoying reading and web assets hunting. in the restaurant, some trifle people, likely some were my once colleagues, babbled about Internet and China censorship. returned to dorm, i sorted stuff awhile, then again reviewed love of Holy between baby and me, in music lately after 11pm. when i returned from lavatory&prepared to sleep, the kitty in the dorm visited me and ask for food. i went to the grocer within the dorms area&bought it 2 sausage, fed it with a small one. the roommate of its owner, a grey man i referred in previous blog, went to buy ready food&found us. i let him take away the kitty with the remnant of the sausage. its really not bad to feed a animal friend.
now its a bright morning, with crisp breeze and brilliant sunshine. when i got up i found some queues on the ground, with a lecturing man. likely they r senior collegians taking practice here in th
last night baby refused to play any games, but watching animation online. later he got heat. i hold him watching movie "Alice in wonderland" before slept earlier. i postpone to buy trains ticket in the night, but sorted stuff from web&backup to dvds. in the night i again slept&lost in lengthy dreams. this morning the grandma came over to attend baby at home. i got my tickets for hometown journey from the railway station box office around 9am. i will left Qiqihar, the city i never like, on Apr 28th, 2010, and arrive my hometown village on the last day of April if nothing disturbing in the journey.
this again a brilliant morning. i stayed in office for the last work day in the week. i saw bliss of God, as well as of my girl zhou, for whom i searched via cyberspace for so many years, with whom we will at least have a twin babies in coming years that soon, and who follows me the best. God, sees my love for u, for ur Heaven, for my beloved, my passed dad, my baby son in growth, Masheng the Japanese Crowned Queen of mine, my girls that's praying for our reunion in their prime time. God, save me from eagerness for my new life ahead, like the marvelous booming summer season in my hometown, central China!
2/5/2010
settled in dad's house, in hometown village Zhudajiu.^its has been almost a week since last blog. now, after 3 days on the road, i settled in the old house of my passed dad. my aged mom cooked for me, and i enjoyed the food very much as usual. the broadband likely will working next day. it has been sunny days since my arrival. yesterday i slept a lot, amid reckons from the shrewd folks in the village, whose inhabitant mostly in family name Zhu. last night it again hard for me to sleep, i felt God, my passed dad aside me, and all of sins in the folks, esp. their wives.
the journey on the train is the tour i babbled most in my life. in thirst for my missing girl zhou, as well as my other wives, i searched every single girl for my beloved. in my dad's house these days sometimes those girls' friendly attitude toward me when i sought talking with them reappeared in my mind eyes, and i was deeply touched by their tender hearts for me. on the distant bus from Wuhan to Wuxue, my hometown county, the movie on the bus is a love story, the endeared moment with my girl zhou in QRRS was called forth to my mind, i was more assured that love is immortal, and my new family with my girl zhou, is blessed even stronger.
last night it rained first time since my arrival. to be exact it started in late afternoon. when it drizzled, i didn't see God's view. but in the night it turns clear. my surf&reading occasionally led to some exotic pictures, then i sensed all dirt among the villagers under my feet. i see God's mercy and kindness. last time when i lived in the village for more than 2 months, it was exactly the dirt around drove me away from my passed dad, God, his land. the rain also a Bliss and nutrition to my beloved that praying for our gathering. i know God sets it up already, and in the most elegant and brilliant way. this morning i finally broke China surveillance which failed me many attempts yesterday, successfully posted all photos&videos in th
a bright new workday morng. God lets me post my life again. see more freedom in balance. read latest blog about last week's reuniting with baby son. http://benzillar.livejournal.com/307427.html
anyone talking about China now in no obligation to refer Chinese traditional dogma, its indeed died since Ming Dynasty, after Chinese with real insight saw its false&harms to China since its birth. Chinese Confucian in fact a terror response upon terrorist, by self-destruction. Chinese live in dark for thousand years in fears. only God's shine saves Chinese who had to align with Christian.
China in its best, is a fake chaos. only clear and strong discipline makes it right.
Chinese social system full scale bankrupted. no credit among Chinese, nor among Chinese enterprise, which even worse than individual for the heavier shell of group. China as a society under current social political structure only a way leads out: total collapse.
not down with google China, but China down without google. that's never surer than since now.
with google, the world of democracy&human right assured, without google, China shut down with its all business supporting puffing Chinese sooner than the sandstorm, the threat Beijing encountered. without the world google leads, China like the dying dynasty it lost hundreds ago again, like a real paper tiger which survives now in cage of its zoo. without world of western, China sin&sick, and sinks into abnormal&suicide sooner than opium war brought a century ago. China, essentially in a fate to repent.
the ethic of modern China, esp. communist China, sinks into the darkest in China history. the cop/bureaucracy/machine dog system all among the social tissue smothered any humanity of hope.
only God of Christian saves China, after the reformation of backbone and in the monstor's corpse from its ruin quite soon.
China republic, is totally a premature, an abortion of the sin of seduction by Russian Red.
without religion's help, Chinese hard to live with modern culture, in which Chinese traditional faith nothing but a failure. world belongs to Christian. without the Christian culture and social structural changes, world, esp. China, no way to stand in the merit of modern era. China, had to shift to new land of belief. that's its fate in new millennium.
all shits of Chinese most notorious hungry predator, bureaucracy. common Chinese live in danger of being eaten everyday for thousands years, that's why Chinese grossly so docile and shabbily cheap&cheating. but in this century, the people of China will see its light under God's shine, secure and free, for God sees the innocent among sinful Chinese, for the coming improved modern society, for the glory of freedom of western culture esp. in America. for the endangered spice of handicapped Chinese in enduring and hard working, like Chinese peasants.
proxy working strangely last afternoon. so launched to refine new blogger blogs and google sites. ema came over to send me living expense of ¥300 after work time. i then penniless.
this morning arranged to finish many delayed task since the fatally dead China surveillance a month ago, adding group profile onto family posterous blogs. lagged heavily by slow traffic, but narrowly done.
it drizzled in early night yesteray, when i left office later than 8pm. in the night it continued to snow and shallowly covered ground with white. now its spring, so it soon melt, just like a miracle.
its now pale in sky. praying God pardon me lingering in office all work time in this week. i really have a full load of works. praying God guard my works against spying dog, the China surveillance.
visit family new member sites:
http://emyark.be21zh.orghttp://amyaak.be21zh.orghttp://emxark.be21zh.orghttp://zhuzz.be21zh.orghttp://zhucj.warozhu.comfor full list of my family web assets, visit here:
http://goo.gl/FPtx or http://goo.gl/5ak7 or http://wiki.be21zh.org/zhlink