Students come to us everyday at various levels of readiness to learn. Any number of factors may be affecting them on any given day as they enter your classroom. They may be hungry, tired or scared. They may have experienced a family crisis, fought with a parent, sibling or friend, or even had no where to go home to last night. For some, this results in a bad day. For others, these factors are a way of life. In either case, a student's feelings may manifest themselves in disrespectful behavior which can quickly escalate. How do you reach these students and help them learn despite the outside factors that are distracting them and potentially leading to behavior issues? What works for you in your classroom, school or community?

John, the authors have some good advice for handling all kinds of conflict: • remain calm • look at the speaker • don’t interrupt the speaker • don’t adopt a defensive posture • listen to what is said • accept criticism of ideas without being defensive • criticize ideas and not people • don’t talk about others behind their backs • check the accuracy of the message (don’t assume) • validate the other person’s feelings • reflect on the other person’s point of view • use a tone of voice that emulates calmness • avoid tones that suggest impatience, disgust, or sarcasm • speak clearly and slowly at a moderate volume • attempt to reach agreement on a goal • plan to return to the issue with an agreed-on agenda. Hope that helps!