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Generally, what I find is that the ordinary people who come to church are basically running their lives on their own, utilizing 'the arm of the flesh' - their natural abilities - to negotiate their way," he says. "They believe there is a God and they need to check in with him. But they don't have any sense that he is an active agent in their lives. As a result, they don't become disciples of Jesus.

We must never forget that God's speaking to us, however we experience it in our initial encounter, is intended to develop into a intelligent, freely cooperative relationship between mature people who love each other with the richness of genuine agape love. We must therefore make it our primary goal not just to hear the voice of God but to be mature people in a loving relationship with him.

Only broken people are truly honest. By nature you and I are full of erroneous judgments... It is only after God has shaken our natural foundation to pieces... only when all our illusions are raised and we have lost the remainder of our inborn self-confidence... only when we see we have misjudgment concerning ourselves... then do we begin to be honorable. Revelation has its price.

If there has been a death, tell your friend that you are sorry about their loss. Be sure to show genuine sympathy, concern and sensitivity. Look for ways you can help in real, tangible ways. House cleaning? Yardwork? etc. Coping: Ask God to give you the grace to be all you can be for your loved one or friend. Pray for love and patience. Your loved ones will need you now more than they have ever needed you. The best thing you can do for your loved one who is suffering is to be there for them and to help them prepare for that day. A question to ask is "Are you ready to meet your Creator?" If he or she answers no, then you have a great opportunity to tell your friend that the Creators greatest desire is for us to have a personal relationship with Him.

we need to show a deep empathy for the person who has been through suffering as we gently take them through the Law. This may take a little practice, but it is something in which each of us must become proficient, if we want to see the lost come the Christ. This is how to best handle the sensitive issue of witnessing to someone who is hurting. Tell him that you are sorry about his loss. Again, make sure that you show genuine sensitivity, then do what a surgeon would do with a severed jugular vein. Turn immediately to the serious issue at hand - the person's salvation. Unless he was a Christian, stay clear of any talk about whether or not the loved one who died went to Heaven or Hell, by saying that God is good and that He will do that which is right on Judgment Day.

Say something like, "When we are confronted with the issue of death, it can often make us think about the issues of God, and about our own eternal salvation. Do you ever think about God? Do you consider yourself to be a good person?" Then gently take him through the Law. If there is any offence, apologize and change the subject. But more than likely you will find that by talking about his personal salvation, it will be like a complete subject change, and therefore there wont be offensive. If he is bitter at God and that is hindering him from opening his heart, gently let them know that many people have suffered terrible losses in this life, and they have let that suffering bring them to the Cross, and consequently to everlasting life. An analogy that may be helpful is to say that if someone offers to lift you out of quicksand, don't let the fact that you don't like the color of their skin or you can't understand why they are wearing certain clothes, etc., stop you from giving your hand to your rescuer. God offers to lift us out of the quicksand of death itself. Tell him: "Let Him pull you out, and once you are saved, ask your questions. If you don't get an answer in this life, you are guaranteed to get one in the next."

Maybe sex sermons and indie- rock worship music do help in getting people in the door, and maybe even in winning new converts. But what sort of Christianity are they being converted to?

"The born-again, marketing church has calculated that unless it makes deep, serious cultural adaptations, it will go out of business, especially with the younger generations. What it has not considered carefully enough is that it may well be putting itself out of business with God. "And the further irony," he adds, "is that the younger generations who are less impressed by whiz-bang technology, who often see through what is slick and glitzy, and who have been on the receiving end of enough marketing to nauseate them, are as likely to walk away from these oh-so-relevant churches as to walk into them."