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We try to talk to parents about having to sort of make it O.K. for there to be challenge, because that’s where learning happens.”

If your premise is that your students are lacking in deep traits like grit and gratitude and self-control, you’re implicitly criticizing the parenting they’ve received — which means you’re implicitly criticizing your employers.

Randolph wants his students to succeed, of course — it’s just that he believes that in order to do so, they first need to learn how to fail.