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"Is structured self-reflection, as some suggest, a healthy tuneup for the heart and head - or can it make hurt feelings worse?"

The comments section is voluminous.

lots of origin stories in these comments

"In other words, once you have something valuable to offer, use it to gain as much autonomy, competence, and relatedness as you can possibly cram into your life."

"To become exceptional you have to put in a lot of hours, but of equal importance, these hours have to be dedicated to the right type of work. A decade of serious chess playing will earn you an intermediate tournament ranking. But a decade of serious study of chess games can make you a grandmaster."

"Ironically, U.S. military doctrine purports to value "critical" and "creative" thinking.  Unfortunately, that emphasis hardly fits with the realities of promotion and command selection.  A recent empirical analysis by faculty from West Point's Department of Behavioral Sciences and Leadership concluded that "promotion and command boards may actually penalize officers for their conceptual ability."  In other words, more intelligent, educated, and skeptical officers - those with "higher cognitive ability," according to the study -- don't fare so well in the competitive promotion game."