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Contents contributed and discussions participated by Sean McMillan

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Sean McMillan

Gutierrez Michael - 0 views

docs.google.com/...View

shared by Sean McMillan on 07 Nov 08 - No Cached
    • Sean McMillan
      Sean McMillan on 07 Nov 08
       
      You need a concise thesis statement.
  • He quotes that National Security
    • Sean McMillan
      Sean McMillan on 07 Nov 08
       
      awkward wording.
  • He believes in treating all Americans equally. McCain quotes “Don’t increase taxes on anybody”. McCain wants to keep taxes the way they are. This is ethical, logical, and fair to all American citizens.
    • Sean McMillan
      Sean McMillan on 07 Nov 08
       
      choppy, cite quote.
    • Sean McMillan
      Sean McMillan on 07 Nov 08
       
      Good start on ethos, but you need to further explain all your points.
  • ...8 more annotations...
  • In all I see Obama as a better rhetorical speaker; he appears more comfortable in oral or written communication. I do view John McCain as a better candidate for the position of President of The United States.
    • Sean McMillan
      Sean McMillan on 07 Nov 08
       
      support you claims as to why.
    • Sean McMillan
      Sean McMillan on 07 Nov 08
       
      find a concise overall conclusion based on rhetoric and support whatever claims you make.
  • The President of The United States, probably the most important position in the world, will be chosen. Rhetoric, skill in the effective use of speech, will be a crucial factor in determining the next President (Merriam Websters Collegiate Dictionary). Barack Obama and John McCain, the two main Presidential candidates, must be able to persuade American citizens toward their view.
    • Sean McMillan
      Sean McMillan on 07 Nov 08
       
      you use the same sentence struction 3 times in a row. Mix up your structures and usage.
  • Obama convinces his audience by telling them exactly what they want to hear. Obama convinces via the ideals of logos. Most of his answers to the elements which lay before him make perfect logical sense. Obama uses pathos in his Rhetoric. One hears passion and concern in the words of Obama. Ethos can also be found in many of Obama’s ideals. Obama seems to be ethical and moral by the ideas he has presented to American citizens.
    • Sean McMillan
      Sean McMillan on 07 Nov 08
       
      short, choppy writing. Assumed too many social norms.
    • Sean McMillan
      Sean McMillan on 07 Nov 08
       
      expand on all your points and use specific examples and quotes to support your claims.
  • Essay
    • Sean McMillan
      Sean McMillan on 07 Nov 08
       
      Just work on your style and thought process. Your writing seems a little choppy and unconcise. Try to find a simple to the point thesis and conclusion and work on the flow of your thoght process. Also just some small grammatical and wording mistakes.
  • this.
    • Sean McMillan
      Sean McMillan on 07 Nov 08
       
      This paragraph seems a little lost, none of the points pertain to your thesis. Maybe combine with the previous or next paragraph, or even add some thoughts on rhetoric pertaining to these points.
  • paper.
    • Sean McMillan
      Sean McMillan on 07 Nov 08
       
      This paragraph gets closest to your thesis idea, try to combine this and work it in with some of the earlier information. to make a very concise simple thesis statement.
  • Works cited
    • Sean McMillan
      Sean McMillan on 07 Nov 08
       
      mla format?
  • Iraq).
    • Sean McMillan
      Sean McMillan on 07 Nov 08
       
      this is a lot of good information, you just need to work in explanations from what all this means as far as obama's approach to rhetoric. Maybe how the audience would react to all these points.
Sean McMillan

Angela Moneck - 0 views

docs.google.com/View

shared by Sean McMillan on 17 Oct 08 - Cached
    • Sean McMillan
      Sean McMillan on 17 Oct 08
       
      Nice job researching, you can tell you put a lot of effort into it.
    • Sean McMillan
      Sean McMillan on 17 Oct 08
       
      When you get down to the last couple of analysis you should try to see if you can combine some like ideas or articles and find some nice transitional techniques to try to tie it all together. Just smooth out all your well researched information.
    • Sean McMillan
      Sean McMillan on 17 Oct 08
       
      Good intro, it would probably be a good idea to discuss rhetoric a little further and how it specifically pertains to your analysis of the torture debate.
  • ...8 more annotations...
    • Sean McMillan
      Sean McMillan on 17 Oct 08
       
      As far as style, just some run-on sentences. Cut out some commas and make some sentences a little simpler. It'll help your papers readibility.
    • Sean McMillan
      Sean McMillan on 17 Oct 08
       
      you need to site your quotes in the text.
    • Sean McMillan
      Sean McMillan on 17 Oct 08
       
      I like these paragraphs, well done. Good analysis and good use of quotes and direct examples to back your claims. Just some wording issues which is easy to fix.
  • “important to protect the rights of individuals threatened by terrorists.”
    • Sean McMillan
      Sean McMillan on 17 Oct 08
       
      I like the way you worked all these quotes in as support.
  • But, in my opinion, I think her story is less effective than the rest of the author’s pieces because it is not a real situation.
    • Sean McMillan
      Sean McMillan on 17 Oct 08
       
      point of view mix up.
    • Sean McMillan
      Sean McMillan on 17 Oct 08
       
      try to tie your thesis in a little more in closing. talk about the torture debate a little and how the authors use rhetoric.
    • Sean McMillan
      Sean McMillan on 17 Oct 08
       
      i couldn't catch many grammar mistakes, just word usage and agreement. I'm not that grammar savy so go over it pretty good.
  • If the speech was given by a student at the school, it would probably not mean as much to the listeners.
    • Sean McMillan
      Sean McMillan on 17 Oct 08
       
      good point.
Sean McMillan

untitled - 0 views

www.boisestate.edu/...ww82.htm

shared by Sean McMillan on 15 Sep 08 - Cached
  • Rhetoric has always been a tool that can serve either good or evil,
    • Sean McMillan
      Sean McMillan on 20 Sep 08
       
      This statement clarifies that rhetoric can and does get used in situations when the authors not necessarily right. As stated before with the hitler reference, someone with a good understanding of their audience and rhetoric can do some harmful things.
  • Sean McMillan on 20 Sep 08
     
    Even when rhetors do not intend to persuade outright, still they must be concerned with their credibility; with what their audiences already know and needs to know; with how their audiences are likely to feel about the subject; with how to begin, how to end, how to arrange the middle -- all these and more, to earn the greatest possible cooperation from their readers.
Sean McMillan

Free the Airwaves - 0 views

www.freetheairwaves.com/about.html

shared by Sean McMillan on 02 Sep 08 - Cached
    • Sean McMillan
      Sean McMillan on 03 Sep 08
       
      This helps to establish a connection with the reader. By them stating this will help their company but then go on to explain that it's not their driving force helps comfort the reader.
  • Sean McMillan on 03 Sep 08
     
    Make no mistake: open access to this unused bandwidth would surely be good for our own bottom line (not to mention those of many of our industry peers);
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