Avoidance, not anxiety, may be sabotaging your life - The Washington Post - 0 views
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Anxiety, for many people, is like an unwelcome houseguest — a lingering presence that causes tension, clouds the mind with endless “what ifs” and shows up as various physical sensations.
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About 12 percent of U.S. adults regularly felt worry, nervousness or anxiety, according to a National Health Interview Survey conducted between October and December 2022.
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Anxiety, though, is not the puppeteer pulling the strings in many of our lives. There is a more subtle and insidious marionette, and it’s called psychological avoidance. When we avoid certain situations and decisions, it can lead to heightened anxiety and more problems.
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Psychological avoidance is akin to an ostrich burying its head in the sand, choosing ignorance over confrontation, all while a storm brews in the background.
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depression and anxiety disorders cost the global economy $1 trillion each year in lost productivity.
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Psychological avoidance isn’t about the actions we take or don’t take, but the intentions behind them. If our actions aim to squash discomfort hastily, then we’re probably 2favoiding
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It’s when we reply hastily to an email that upsets us or raise our voices without considering the consequences.
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For example, my client with the fear of public speaking took a different job to avoid it. Others may reach for a glass of wine to numb out o
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Shifting involves checking in with your thoughts, especially when anxiety comes knocking. In those moments, we often have black-and-white, distorted thoughts, just like my client, who was worried about being in a romantic relationship, telling himself, “I will never be in a good relationship.”
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Shifting is taking off dark, monochrome glasses and seeing the world in color again. Challenge your thoughts, clean out your lenses, by asking yourself, “Would I say this to my best friend in this scenario?
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Ask yourself: What is one small step I can take toward my fears and anxiety to overcome my avoidance.
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Aligning is living a values-driven life, where our daily actions are aligned with what matters the most to us: our values.
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This is the opposite of what most of us do while anxious. In moments of intense anxiety, we tend to let our emotions, not our values, dictate our actions. To live a values-driven life, we need to first identify our values, whether that is health, family, work or something else. Then we need to dedicate time and effort to our values.