I think the "Imposter Syndrome" is more common than we realize.

How do you coach an employee who seems beyond help? Maybe the person is arrogant, is tactlessly blunt, or lacks empathy. Sometimes you actually can't help them - but it may be that their behavior is misunderstood or misdiagnosed. To make sure you have an accurate view of the person, check your assumptions and judgments. Look beyond the obvious symptoms and think about what might underlie their destructive behavior. Observe patterns and notice when there are breaks in those patterns; these deviations can provide important clues.

As a CEO or leader, it's important to remember that your people usually know if something is not working. They just want to know whether you have the courage to tell them. By stepping up and being vulnerable you create a space that will allow your organization to get to the next level.

In our work consulting with companies and coaching leaders, we have found that if you're looking to develop particular EI strengths, it helps to consider areas for improvement others have identified along with the goals you want to achieve - and then to actively build habits in those areas rather than simply relying on understanding them conceptually.

To that end, start by asking yourself three questions:

HBR STAFF/RICHARD NEWSTEAD/GETTY IMAGES
"Tell me about your career goals." How often have you said this to a person you're managing or mentoring, only to get a blank stare in return? Perhaps the person confides that they don't know what their goals should be, or even whether there are opportunities to advance at your company. How do you begin to provide support?

Once employees know they're being approached about their work with respect-but also with consistently high expectations-they're likely to develop a comfortable, professional relationship with you, their manager.

These competencies all leverage individual skills and individual effectiveness. They are valued skills and make people more productive, but all except for the last one (collaboration) focus on the individual rather than the team. When we went back to our data, the skills that our analysis identified as making a great manager are much more other-focused:

When you're asked to give feedback on a fellow employee, you want it to be useful. But unless you connect it to what matters to them - and separate it from your personal beliefs and preferences - they won't be able to act on it. Emphasize facts, not interpretations.

We all want to find meaning in what we do. As a manager, you can help your team members foster this inner sense of purpose by asking them a few simple questions:

What Samar did was to ask people to share their perspective, without trying to convince them of hers. It sounds like something for a movie script, not necessarily practical advice for business leaders. But maybe it should be.

Part of what makes it work is that when we get behind the façades that we habitually put up, we begin to understand others better-their motivations, values, and beliefs. As we better understand what is going on inside of us, we will better understand what is going on inside of others and take their comments and behaviors less personally. We will begin to understand their points of view more completely. It generates respect and a willingness to share points of view that can strengthen the group as a whole.

Many of us know the benefits of delegation: It helps teams share the workload so that managers focus on the work only they can do. But in reality, you (like most managers) probably hoard tasks and become a bottleneck. To fix that, start with baby steps. Ask yourself regularly, even daily: "What can I, and only I, do?" If a certain task could be done by someone else, maybe it should be. Try to delegate small tasks that add up to something bigger, or projects that are relatively simple. Also consider time-sensitive work that competes with your other priorities. If you're still struggling to delegate, try this: For two weeks, make a list of tasks that you might delegate, writing them down as you think of them. This exercise will get you one step closer to handing off the work you need to.

If your team is constantly bringing issues to you rather than addressing them on their own, you aren't doing your job as a manager. So only let problems get escalated to you thoughtfully and occasionally. To make sure you're not stepping in when you shouldn't, ask yourself several questions.

This is why coaching is sooo important.

As a leader, everything you do is contagious. If you are discouraged, pessimistic, or lacking in energy, people will feel it. The organization will reflect it. It will spread faster than an oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico.

The study is called "The Skills Workers Say Management Needs To Improve Most," from Robert Half. 1,000 workers (non-managers) were simply asked the question: "Which skill do you think your manager needs to improve most?" The results:

Communication/diplomacy - 30%

Technical expertise - 18%

Leadership - 17%

Strategic thinking - 14%

Project management - 8%

Other - 14%.

One second can be the difference between achieving desired results or not. One second is all it takes to become less reactive and more in tune with the moment. In that one second lies the opportunity to improve the way you decide and direct, the way you engage and lead. That's an enormous advantage for leaders in fast-paced, high-pressure jobs.

Here are five easily implemented tips to help you become more mindful:

When we listen with all of ourselves, we engage our ears, eyes, mind, heart and body to actively listen to the client.  We have a greater possibility of hearing the depth, meaning and possible future of the client's present experience. Effective listening is freeing, spontaneous, intuitive and open to provide the space for the client to develop their gifts and strengths.

The steps you may want to follow are:

Work with your coachee on enunciating their values. What are the things that are really important to them? You could choose to use a psychometric instrument, but I find reflecting on key incidents and episodes in a coachee's life can be just as powerful.
Help them enunciate their purpose. Fundamentally, what is the reason for their existence? Watch out here. At a first try, a coachee may tend to put down a purpose that may not be very challenging and may cover only a part of what's important to them. Link the conversation here back to values and push your coachee towards a higher purpose existence statement-something that will really make a difference to the largest possible number of people and that has the power to energize your coachee even in really low times!
Draw the key areas that the coachee would like to focus on. What should they do (or indeed not do) to achieve the purpose? You might work with a finite time that the coachee is comfortable with here (I find coachees tend to choose a three-to-five year time frame most frequently). As always, stay with three-to-four key areas that broadly work towards moving the coachee meaningfully towards their purpose.
Work with your coachee around behavioral traits or behaviors that will align with their values and help them deliver on their purpose. Again, limit the coachee to key behaviors; getting the coachee to make a choice among key behaviors can, in itself, be a very powerful conversation.
Build systems of accountability to keep the coachee on track. These could be milestones or promises to individuals who are important to the coachee or a combination of both.