Kids, Would You Please Start Fighting? - The New York Times - 0 views
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The skill to get hot without getting mad — to have a good argument that doesn’t become personal — is critical in life.
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Our legal system is based on the idea that arguments are necessary for justice. For our society to remain free and open, kids need to learn the value of open disagreement.
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If no one ever argues, you’re not likely to give up on old ways of doing things, let alone try new ones. Disagreement is the antidote to groupthink. We’re at our most imaginative when we’re out of sync. There’s no better time than childhood to learn how to dish it out — and to take it.
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They discover that no authority has a monopoly on truth. They become more tolerant of ambiguity. Rather than conforming to others’ opinions, they come to rely on their own independent judgment.
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Instead of trying to prevent arguments, we should be modeling courteous conflict and teaching kids how to have healthy disagreements. We can start with four rules:• Frame it as a debate, rather than a conflict.• Argue as if you’re right but listen as if you’re wrong. 30 Comments • Make the most respectful interpretation of the other person’s perspective.• Acknowledge where you agree with your critics and what you’ve learned from them.