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"In a consumer society," Ivan Illich says, "there are inevitably two kinds of slaves: the prisoners of addiction and the prisoners of envy." Today's culture tries to spare kids the pains of sibling and peer rivalry, but does so by teaching them to channel their envy into the language and expectation of fairness—and a reallocation of goods that promises to redress their emotional wounds.
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A better way to integrate fairness and favoritism for kids is to show how opportunity and outcome are part of a process.
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Anyone should be a candidate for friend status, but few will be admitted to the elite club. Why few? Because favorites (friends) can be created only by spending time together, sharing experiences, and immersing themselves in each other's lives—and time, sadly, is a finite resource.
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- Mac Guy on 02 May 13
  
  Potentially refutes the promise of Facebook "friends," that the friends you have are a myth, a misrepresentation of the label, a palliative for our need to accumulate the most of social capital in comparison to our friends.
  
  <div class="cArrow"> </div><div class="cContentInner">Potentially refutes the promise of Facebook "friends," that the friends you have are a myth, a misrepresentation of the label, a palliative for our need to accumulate the most of social capital in comparison to our friends.</div>
  
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The little prince of Antoine de Saint-Exupéry's classic feels heartbroken when he realizes that his beloved rose is just a common flower—intrinsically equal with all other roses. But then he comes to understand that she is special because he loves her and "because she is my rose." The wise fox enlightens the little prince: "It is the time you have spent on your rose that makes your rose so important." Favoritism and fairness are deeply irreconcilable, and until we figure out how to square that circle, I'm sticking with my favorites.
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