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There are pros and cons to both sides of this argument. With the private arrangement, you will first of all need to find your surrogate mother. This is usually much easier done through an agency, as all surrogate mothers to be will have been screened and will have gone through a comprehensive health screening. Also, all of the surrogate mothers with an agency will have had psychological screenings to guarantee the fact that they will be able to deal with the very strong emotions that will be coursing around their bodies during the pregnancy. Unless, of course, your surrogate mother is a relative or close friend of the family in which case it would seem to be a lot easier. Ethics, moral code and emotions will still loom large in all of the concerned parties worlds. So it would still be wise to involve an attorney and legal contracts so that everyone knows exactly where they stand, and what is expected of them. In most countries and states legal and binding contracts written up by attorneys, are needed by the parents to be anyway. As they are going to have to be legally adopting the child everything, will need to be written clearly and legally about the birth and how it came about. Very often during the pregnancy the doctors and nurses will need to know why there are two women, one pregnant, the other not, and very often two fathers who are so interested in this one child. If you have gone through an agency, they will be able to advise you on what to do and say in this situation. If you are sorting out surrogacy arrangements privately then yes but if anything unexpected should happen and you are unable to deal with the problems there is a reasonable chance you will end up wishing you had gone to the agency. Agencies do have trained professionals that can help you with all of the different issues that are involved in surrogacy. From the emotional feeling of all parties, the majority of agencies will have counselors who can help you work your way through any difficul

A surrogate mother often faces criticism and judgment from others for the choice she have made. However, those are less problematic when compare to the risks that she takes for her own family, friends and spouse. These risks can be daunting and cause challenges she might not have considered before getting involved. These risks can be anything from medical and health concerns to finances and job security and often family and personal risks as well. Medical risk is a huge factor, when a woman becomes a surrogate often times, she and the donors would have to undergo intense examination. These exams range from blood, health tests to the initial process of the implanting of the eggs from the donor. In the beginning the clinic will bring her and the egg donor together to begin a lengthy process of sequencing ovulation cycles. The clinic would put the surrogate mother on birth control and steroids, such as Luprin. These medications are meant to get both the surrogate mother and the donor's cycles on the same schedule. This is crucial because the surrogates' uterus needs to be ready for the embryos. Just having to deal with the pain of insemination and testing can be unbearable, not to mention the unpleasant side effects from all the medication and actual insemination process. However, that is just part of it. The surrogates are also faced with depression, sleep disturbance, guilt and the difficulty to remain unattached. These factors alone cause many surrogates to face the fact that they are walking a long road that not many others might have the strength to do. Many clinics offer support groups and counseling. Aside from medical and emotional risks, there might also be legality issues with the laws of the state they reside in. What kind of laws protect the surrogate, what rights does she have to things such as privacy? And there are also finances to consider. Generally, surrogate mothers are responsible for all insurance costs. As a surrogate you should be financially

Surrogate motherhood is an option for couples who are unable to have children, whether it be from age, infertility, or some other medical issue. It is also for women who can have children but choose not to have the pregnancy experience. The other option for women to have children is via adoption. Surrogacy can be accomplished by one, of two ways. In most cases, a man's sperm is instilled into the surrogate by a procedure called artificial insemination. If this is done, the surrogate is considered to be the biological and birth mother of the child. Another name for this type of surrogacy is traditional surrogacy. The other way surrogacy may be accomplished is by the man's sperm and woman's eggs being implanted into the surrogate. This process is known as vitro fertilization. In this case, the surrogate is not the biological mother but is still considered the birth mother of the child. This type of surrogacy is gestational surrogacy. Surrogacy has both supporters and opponents, and both parties have strong arguments that work in their favor. All that are against surrogacy feel it is unnecessary and it dismembers a woman's body, especially considering that surrogacy is a profitable transaction. Many build their belief against surrogacy on their religious beliefs, while others base it on political and legal beliefs. Roman Catholics are strongly against surrogacy and feel surrogacy takes away from the sacredness of marriage and the connection between father, mother, and child. They also feel that commercial surrogacy is greatly offensive. In commercial surrogacy, a child's birth is turned into a financial matter. They feel it turns women into reproductive robots and exploitation of children. Other groups that oppose to surrogacy are feminists. Many feminists will argue that surrogate women are pressured or forced into being surrogates when they really do not want to be. Feminists have even gone so far as to call surrogacy a reproductive prostitution. On

The different views and opinions on surrogate motherhood are as vast as those on abortion. Everyone has their views and ideas of the social and ethical issues related to surrogate motherhood. Let's look into some of these issues and what the different sides think about it all. Is it morally correct to rent your body? Some would argue that renting your body to have a baby is hand in hand with renting it out for sex. You are being paid for the use of your body. On the other side, pro surrogates would say that this is an unfair comparison, as sex for money is seen to be dirty and having a baby to help someone who can't is a pure thing. What does religion say about the ethics of surrogate motherhood? Roman Catholicism and Islam forbid it. The Roman Catholics refer to the story of Sarah, wife of Abraham, in the bible. She was barren and gave her maid Hagar to her husband so that she could bare them a child. Abraham impregnated her through copulation. In the end Sarah got jealous, Hagar didn't want to give the baby up and she and the child were thrown out. Not a good ending. In Islam the belief is simple; a woman should bare only her husband's children. How does being born from a surrogate mother affect the child when it grows up? What does a person say when asked, who is your mother? Some people argue that being born from another woman can confuse a child and cause it to have issues as an adult; have feelings of confusion on the subject. The pro surrogates will say that there are many stories of successful children born of surrogate mothers that don't have these problems. It is simply explained to the child. The parents were unable to have children so they took each part of the child from the parents and put it in a surrogate to be born. Can a surrogate mother truly consent to the taking of the child after it is born? This is a major issue. Before gestational surrogating, it was only through artificial insemination of the father's sperm that a surro

When a couple can not have children, they will often seek out a surrogate mother. This is a person that will carry the couple's child and deliver the baby. Once the baby is born the child will be handed over to the couple. Anyone wanting to become a surrogate mother should look into it thoroughly. You can be an independent surrogate or you can use an agency. The first thing you should do is find out what is expected of a surrogate mother and evaluate yourself to see if you can handle it. Read stories from women who have done it and how it affected their lives. This is not just business, this is your body and you will never be the same. Once you have decided that you can handle it, find out what you need to have a healthy pregnancy. What vitamins and diet you should be on are two very important things to look into. You should find out what the laws and rights are in your area concerning surrogate mothers. Surrogate Agencies There are many agencies out there. You can research them on line or look in the phone book. Each will be different in how they handle a case. Find out from them how they work and what they can do for you. Ask for references of other women who used the agency. Contact those women and ask them about their experience there. Once you have decided on an agency; you will be required to fill out an application. After that you will be checked by a doctor from the agency to make sure you meet all the requirements needed. Once you are signed up and deemed healthy by the agency, they will begin looking for couples that they think would be a good match for you. You will be contacted and meetings will be arranged with possible couples. After having several meetings, you will need to choose a couple. This couple should share your views on pregnancy. If you like coffee and they don't want you drinking it during pregnancy, then they may not be the right couple for you. This is a very important part of the process. Don't forget it isn't only you ch

This Memorial Day weekend, our kids are having a couple of their close friends at the house for a sleepover for the first time. They've been planning it for a week. They've picked out games, snacks, movies, crafts...they are so excited! We do have a bit of a challenge, though...our entire downstairs has hardwood floors. Even though we have a regular sleeping bag in the house (our beloved Puff the Magic Dragon one from about thirty years ago), unfortunately, it is pretty much out of the question for this weekend. There isn't enough room in our kids' two twin-size beds for the four boys to share either. How can we have a successful sleepover when we have no comfortable place for the kids to sleep?

We at The Daily Kool have a confession to make. We have been having a really hard time getting out of bed in the morning lately. Yes, we know we have kids to take care of, places to be and readers to write for. But when the alarm goes off, we find ourselves stubbornly pressing the snooze button (over and over again) and snuggling deeper in our covers. Though we are admittedly a lazy bunch by nature, this is kind of over the top...yes, even for us. It's not our fault, though...really! We have a couple of dear, dear friends who are totally responsible for our recent indolence. We won't mention names, but they know who they are. Boy, are we grateful for them!

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Surrogacy is a path that many couples who are unable to have children of their own have chosen due to the intimacy and experiences involved in the process. There are many things that should be taken into consideration before you make the choice of becoming a surrogate mother. You should first speak with an attorney and/or an adoption agency specializing in surrogacy. They can provide you with a list of things to consider and agencies available to start you on your way, educate you on your rights as well as those of the adoptive couple and what you can expect and what is expected out of you. When you consider on becoming a surrogate mother, you also need to decide whether you will be an independent surrogate or agency surrogate. As an independent surrogate, you need to be responsible for your own arrangements, finding the right couple, working out a contract and, if anything goes awry with the arrangements, you will be responsible for finding another couple. As an agency surrogate, all of these arrangements and legalities are managed for you by your agent. Either route you choose, make sure that you have consulted an attorney who specializes in surrogacy and adoption to serve your best interests. The next step in becoming a surrogate involves the physical aspects or extent of the measures you are willing to take to become pregnant. You need to decide if you are willing to undergo artificial insemination, hormone therapy and/or in vitro fertilization. Each of these measures are time consuming and not fail proof, so it is always best to have an alternate plan, if possible, in case your first choice for conception does not work. Finally, once an agency or attorney is employed in your journey to becoming a surrogate mother, psychological and physical tests need to be done to make sure that you are healthy enough to carry a child to term and that there are not any past medical or family histories that may cause pregnancy or genetic issues. Extensive counseling will be

Surrogacy is perhaps one of the most selfless acts that a woman can bestow upon a couple in need of a child. Surrogacy, however, can come with both physical and physiological risks that may or may not be easy to recover from. Understanding what the psychological risks of surrogate motherhood can make the transition from carrying a child to relinquishing that child easier. The psychological risks of surrogate motherhood may be a heavier burden to carry, but pre-screening and on-going counseling both before and after the event can help surrogate mothers adjust. There are four areas that are of particular interest in the psychological aspect of surrogacy: contact (bonds), control, closure and ethics. Surrogate mothers form relationships with the couples they surrogate for and that bond may perhaps be even stronger than the bond they may feel for the child they are carrying. They see and talk to their couples regularly and become used to the caring bestowed upon them from their couples. These bonds are strengthened by the routine prenatal visits, maternity clothes shopping, calls to see how they are feeling or if they need anything for comfort. These routine events cause them to become almost dependent on their couples and some surrogates report even becoming depressed after the birth not because of having to relinquish the child, but because they no longer have a reason for contact with their couples. Another one of the psychological risks of surrogate motherhood is that of closure. Often, this can go hand in hand with every contact or bonding issues. The routines and relationships developed between the surrogate, couples and medical staff that often make the transition from pregnancy and surrogacy to the birth and farewell stage that makes it difficult. Not only does the surrogate have to deal with the loss of a child, per se, but also the loss of those unique and caring relationships and routines that they have grown used to over the previous nine months. And fina

Surrogate motherhood history dates back to biblical times, some say it all started with Sarah and Abraham, others say it was around even before them, just they were the only ones recorded about it because of Abraham being in the bible. In countries all over the world the history of surrogate mothers dates back further than we can recall. Many cultures beliefs include surrogacy as a way of life, and those who don't abide by it are banned from their families. Many religions and cultures today believe the surrogates themselves are martyrs for their beliefs; their good deeds and overall intentions go unnoticed by many. In the 1980's the gay community took on the use of surrogates to form families for themselves; which was frowned upon then. If you really look at the history of surrogacy, aside from biblical times, it really began in the late 1800's with the Indians (which are just one culture.) If an Indian woman was found to be baron, the husband would go to the chief and inform the chief of this problem. The chief would then advise the husband to counsel with the witch doctor/ medicine man. After several attempts with medicine if the woman was still found to be baron, the chief would allow for the husband to consort with another female who was baron so that the husband would have a son to carry on his tribe; surrogacy then was not in vitro, rather, the male would have to have relations with the other female… the wife would have no biological ties to the child. But the Indians were not the only culture to use surrogacy as a means to carry on the family name. It's been known about throughout Europe and Spain and other such places. Kings would often bring in several surrogates until one bore him a son, then the surrogates would be kept as nannies to the child; the child would believe the King and Queen were its biological parents and know nothing about its genetic ties to the nanny. Often things of this matter were kept in close regard because if such thing

When a couple cannot have children, they may look into the cost of using a surrogate mother. The details for this are very extensive. There are so many scenarios that can play out that it is impossible to give a solid figure. We can, however, look at the general costs of surrogate pregnancy and some possible extra costs.The fee paid to the surrogate mother can vary. The average rate however is a flat fee of $18,000. Some woman will do it for less and some experienced surrogate mothers will ask for more. This does not include any medical bills or food and vitamins. If at 13 weeks the ultra sound shows that the surrogate mother is having multiple children, there will be an extra fee of $5,000 dollars. There will be contracts drawn up for both parties to sign which means there will be lawyers to pay. Legal fees come to about $5,000. The surrogate mother will need to have a psychological evaluation which costs around $500. With pregnancy comes a bigger body and maternity clothes. Maternity clothes usually run you $750. The surrogate mother will have to drive herself or take a bus to the doctor's appointments. She is typically reimbursed 50.5 cents a mile. Any extra, invasive procedures, like Cerclage, DNC, Amniocentesis or FUC can be another $500. If you are going with the gestational surrogating, transfer will run you $750. Insemination for traditional surrogating costs $500 IN a case where a surrogate mother becomes pregnant with more then one fetus inside her, there is something called selective reduction. This operation removes the extra fetuses, leaving only one. The operation fee is $2,000. If at some point both the surrogate mother and couple decide to abort the child, the fee is $2,000. If a C-Section is involved, this will be another $1,500. If there is a canceled cycle fee then you will pay $350. Often times a Mock cycle will be given. This is to test the surrogate's eggs to see if all will go well. The fee is $350. When the surrogate mother gets

I want to go on record as stating that I have officially become fearful of social media. Up until today I have been somewhat in control of these elements. I have been able to screen comments prior to publishing, decide who my "friends" were and frame my overall social experience. Today I was informed by email that I was now being followed by Jon Bon Jovi's red scarf. This disturbs me on many levels...

I would like to use today's blog post to wish my lovely bride Ann a very happy 43rd birthday. Some of you are cringing right now that I broadcast my wives age to the world. This is by far the least worst thing I have ever done on my wives birthday. In the twenty years we have know each other I have...

Trampolines are always the best part of any fun carnival or for the children event but, that does not mean only kids are going to have fun. Mostly, the organizers try to bring the biggest trampoline in the world so the elders can have fun too. The trampoline parks have the biggest trampolines in the world.

Surrogacy itself calls up a lot of moral and ethical concerns, mostly because of the money that is involved. Also the fact that a childless couple are asking, sometimes, a complete stranger to become pregnant for them and then give them the child after the birth. Depending on the infertility problems of the intended couple, the surrogate mother will become pregnant in some very different ways. Firstly there is the traditional method, which is where the intended fathers sperm is used to artificially inseminate the surrogate mother. This is using the surrogate mothers egg, so she will be the legal and the biological mother which may cause some people problems, ethically and morally. Then we have where both of the intended parents are infertile, so a sperm donor is used to make the surrogate mother pregnant, and thirdly we have the gestational surrogate method. This is where the intended mothers egg is fertilized with the intended fathers sperm in a laboratory and then it is placed into the surrogate mother to grow until ready for birth. This method is used because the intended mother either can not carry a baby full term, has had a part hysterectomy, or has other medical reasons that prevent her from becoming pregnant. In the majority of these cases, the surrogate mother will be giving this service due to altruistic reasoning. She will still receive reimbursement for her and her family for any out of pocket expenses she may incur in the 9 months while she is carrying the child'. This amount of money is called the base fee. This is an amount of money that is usually split up into 9 monthly payments. The amounts are never equal in their amounts because of the fact that a miscarriage is more likely in the first three months than at any other time during the pregnancy. So, understandably, the first couple of payments will be less than offered later in the pregnancy so that the intended parents will not have to pay too much for a failed pregnancy but the surrogate mother

Well, judging by the weather, summer is definitely just around the corner here at The Daily Kool, and boy, are we in big trouble. Bathing suit season is almost here, and we have totally been neglecting our healthier eating habits these past few months...yikes! Time to get back on track and start watching what we eat. Thank goodness we have The Biggest Loser finale coming next Tuesday for inspiration. Those contestants are amazing...an absolute inspiration to everyday people like us who want to improve our health and increase longevity. And, while The Biggest Loser contestants have had many tools at their disposal to help them shed those extra pounds, one of the most important has undoubtedly been an old standard...a kitchen scale.

Have you ever noticed how it's the simple things in life that give us the most pleasure? A child's laughter...a morning sunrise...the Oxo Good Grips Flexible Vegetable Brush. Okay, call us crazy (and trust us, many many people have), but we at The Daily Kool absolutely love it when a kitchen gadget gets the job done right. Those of us who own anything by Oxo know that their products usually do. Yep, we admit it...we are big Oxo fans, and have been since we got our first kitchen gadget about ten years ago (yikes, has it been that long?).

We been having an ongoing challenge these days in The Daily Kool household. Our boys are at the age when we have to constantly remind them to wash their hands. It's not as if we are obsessive about cleanliness (well, maybe just a little). We do have rules, though. Washing hands after coming in from the outside, after meals and certainly after using the toilet shouldn't be too much to ask, right? Apparently, it just might be...at least for our boys. You should just hear some of the arguments and excuses coming out of our two little guys...everything from "My leg hurts and I can't stand by the sink" to "My hands aren't that sticky from the breakfast syrup." Our favorite of course, is the ever-popular "Hey, we stand up anyway...what's the big deal?" Imagine our embarrassment when our four year old proudly confessed to his grandmother how often he and his brother try to "trick us" into thinking that they've washed their hands (as if we didn't know). Seriously, they expend more energy trying to avoid washing their hands than it would just take to do it already. Sheesh!

School is just around the corner, and our lazy days of summer are coming to an end. Okay, who are we kidding? The Daily Kool family doesn't do lazy days. We have to admit though...our boys may have kept us on our toes this vacation, but it was pretty nice to have them all to ourselves for a change. In a couple of weeks, we are back to being overwhelmed with activities. School (one half-day, the other three towns over), homework, soccer, hip hop, basketball, karate, birthday parties (there are a ton) playdates...not to mention our own work, home and Pepper (our lovable pooch) responsibilities. Pretty exhausting, huh? As our boys get older, it's really becoming harder to keep track of it all...we need some serious organization!