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Weiye Loh

Diva - Successful woman to support house husband, kids - 0 views

  • Lawyers who have handled divorces told The New Paper on Sunday that while it was rare for a wife to maintain her husband, it depended on the circumstances.

    Mr Michael Low of Crossbows LLP said: “In this case, it makes sense for the woman to pay the ex-husband, since their children are with him, especially whenthe wife has a higher earning capacity.”

  • Asked for her comment, Ms Lelia Loges, chairman of the work-life balance sub-committee at women’s group Aware, said: “I don’t see why she shouldn’t pay... “He had to sacrifice his job for her to succeed, and lost 18 years of a chance at a career and seniority in the work place. It will be hard to find employment now since he is past 50.

    “She is successful because he stayed home and took care of the children, and he should be recognised for that support.”

Weiye Loh

Quick note on divorce « Samson's Jawbone - 0 views

  • the lefties who crafted this video seem to be seriously out of touch with the folks they are arguing against. Worlds apart.

    To the point that I initially failed to realize that the piece is intended as satire, and I still think it utterly fails as a parody. Why? Because I and many others agree with it literally. Look, the essence of successful political satire is to take a position, alter it slightly, and ridicule the new, altered position. The goal is for everyone to thus realize just how absurd the original stance was, too.

  • , none of this is news to either Christian traditionalists or the pagan manosphere. In these camps, the idea of curtailing divorce laws is pedestrian (how many of you, as you watched the first minute of that video, found yourselves agreeing completely and wondering where on earth the punchline was?). Outside the internet, in The Real World, there are similar rumblings in actual state legislatures. And that’s the reason I bothered to write about all this in the first place: I was stunned that these lefties actually thought that banning divorce was so far-fetched that the idea could only appear as parody. That’s how out of touch the anti-traditional values crowd is.
Weiye Loh

How Divorce Lost Its Cachet - NYTimes.com - 0 views

  • The experience of being a divorced woman has changed, along with the statistics. “The No. 1 reaction I get from people when I tell them I’m getting divorced is, ‘You’re so brave,’ ” said Stephanie Dolgoff, a 44-year-old mother of two elementary-school daughters who was separated last year. “In the 1970s, when a woman got divorced, she was seen as taking back her life in that Me Decade way. Nowadays, it’s not seen as liberating to divorce. It’s scary.”
  • Ms. Coontz, whose most recent book, “A Strange Stirring: The Feminine Mystique and Women at the Dawn of the 1960s,” examines the changes in marital expectations for women, said that for many women of that earlier era: “Divorce was freedom. Many of these marriages in the ’70s were fundamentally unequal. With the women’s movements, they learned that there were alternatives, and that made divorce kind of a liberation.”

    But in an era of peer marriages, in which both partners are expected to contribute and truck along, that mentality appears to have diminished. As noted by the National Marriage Project study, “Highly educated Americans have moved in a more marriage-minded direction, despite the fact that historically, they have been more socially liberal.”

  • n the 1970s, “the feminists, the hippies, the protesters, the cultural elite all said, It’s O.K. to drop out.” In contrast, “We made up our minds, my brother and I and so many of the grown children of the runaway moms, that we would put our families first and ourselves second. We would be good, all the time. We would stay married, no matter what, and drink organic milk.”
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  • “One of the hardest things about divorce today is that you feel like you have to explain or apologize for it,” said Stacy Morrison, author of “Falling Apart in One Piece,” another divorce memoir. (Did anyone even write searing divorce memoirs in the ’70s?)
  • Several divorced women suggested that the news of their marital unraveling seemed to unnerve other couples in their social circles, prompting unease about their own marriages. (That anxiety may not be entirely unfounded. One study out of Harvard, Brown and the University of California, San Diego, last year found that divorce actually is contagious: when close friends break up, the odds of a marital split among their friends increase by 75 percent.)
  • “There’s a tacit or explicit recognition among well-educated parents that their kids are less likely to thrive if Mom and Dad can’t be together.”

    Is this, then, the revenge of the children-of-divorce generation, rebelling against the experiences of their mothers and fathers? When I asked people who divorced in their 20s and 30s while researching my 2002 book, “The Starter Marriage,” about why they divorced with such alacrity, the response was near universal: “I wanted to do it before it was too late — before we had kids.”

  • Whereas their parents were divorce pioneers in the ’70s, unsure of how marital dissolution affected children and letting caution blow in the wind, today’s splitting couples are viscerally aware of how divorce feels to a 7-year-old.
  • Dr. Monet, of Mount Holyoke, and her ex-husband eat dinner together on Fridays with their 9-year-old son and 6-year-old daughter. Birthdays and holidays are spent in each other’s company.

    “Once I realized that we could raise the kids together and still be a family,” said Dr. Monet, who started a blog called Postcards From a Peaceful Divorce last year, “I realized it wasn’t divorce that’s devastating, it’s the way divorce is handled.”

  • A common belief is that if the divorce is done properly, the children benefit more from the separation than from living in a family with a compromised marriage. Ms. Gilman, echoing the sentiments of many divorced mothers, said, “In the end, I actually think it was a very positive thing we did for the kids.”
  • That does not necessarily make divorced motherhood any easier.

    “I spent an enormous amount of energy making everything friendly and loving with my ex and his wife,” said Isabel Gillies, an actress who is following up her divorce memoir, “Happens Every Day,” with a book about divorce’s aftermath, “A Year and Six Seconds.”

    When her ex-husband visits their children in Manhattan from Ohio, he and his wife stay in Ms. Gillies’s apartment and she moves out.

    “It’s a bit more seamless than it was in the ’70s,” she said. “Instead of the kids back and forthing, we’re the ones who maneuver.”

  • In another unexpected twist, some divorced women say they detect an unspoken envy. Other wives and mothers, they explained, were “battling it out” while dealing with the unceasing tasks of wifedom, motherhood and work.
Weiye Loh

How Divorce Lost Its Cachet - NYTimes.com - 0 views

  •  
    That a woman who has been divorced should feel such awkwardness and isolation seems more part of a Todd Haynes set piece than a scene from "families come in all shapes and sizes" New York, circa 2011. But divorce statistics, which have followed a steady downward slope since their 1980 peak, reveal another interesting trend: According to a 2010 study by the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia, only 11 percent of college-educated Americans divorce within the first 10 years today, compared with almost 37 percent for the rest of the population.
Weiye Loh

Alimony and the Attractive Ex-Wife : Ong Tay & Partners - 0 views

  • That a divorcee’s looks should be taken into consideration for her own future prospects of re-settling down with another – and consequently as grounds for deciding how much money she should be getting from her previous partner as a result – is not without merit. The moral implications of such evaluation, however, verily speaks of bias against a certain demographic of women whom psychological studies have shown usually enjoy rather favourable dispositions whilst dealing with society.
  • this seemingly far-fetched interpretation of a “circumstance of the case” to be regarded by the court in determining maintenance does bring up a very liquid point which the law has up till now found awkward at best in addressing. In the case of ancillary matters, how do you put a monetary value – positive or negative – on such subjective entities as beauty, sex appeal, or charm? And what about honour, trust and love? Should the factors leading to the breakdown in marriage also be quantified, such as boredom, frigidity, selfishness, or hate?

    Should this be the way courts in future consider the issue of maintenance?

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